Yes yes kids are cute, kids say funny shit and yes kids are mini-me’s.
Its the last bit I think a lot of adults forget.
Kids model off what they see, hear, feel and ultimately believe.
Its a simple thing – they will COPY.
They may not do it straight away – but they will at some point.
Its how they learn and its how you learnt too. They have no other choice really, they mimic.
Its also very scary.
I mentioned in my book about the number of studies done on twins. I’ll repeat it here for you – the twin boys had an alcoholic mother and drug addict father. When the twins grew up to be adults – one became a drug addict and the other became a lawyer. When both asked how did this happen? They both answered ‘What else could have I become?’ .
So kids will mimic, they will also learn.
As a kid, you did the same. Your parents did the same too. And it goes on.
Some learn. Some mimic and don’t even know they are doing it. And lets be honest…they can’t help it either. You don’t know, what you don’t know.
Now…when I first learnt this, I beat myself up a bit about what my kid had seen/heard/felt in her younger years (even these days it happens now and again). Some of me thinks its made her a better person and made her grow and learn. Some of me thinks she shouldn’t have had to see most of the shit she has.
Then I look at people like Miley Cyrus. I think that she was protected (too much?) as a kid and had a good childhood. No money worries and everything given to her. Then comes hers 20’s and she hasn’t really got an identity as a result of her upbringing… so she acts out and does things to get attention/shock. Childish behaviour perhaps? Anyway… I think you get the point.
So the point to today’s blog? I suppose being aware that you are a role model. Even if you don’t have kids. They could be your neices/nephews/neighbours/kids you walk past.
What would a kid mimic off you? What could they see and think is ok? And lets not think about the bad stuff. There is good too! What good shit can you teach them?
Lastly when I talk to someone and they tell me about their kids doing X, Y or Z. Or acting up. I firstly ask the parent whats going on for them. What is the parent doing that the kid could be mimicking?
This isn’t to point the finger…its simply the way it is. They are copying their behavior from somewhere. I only ask as I know the answer. Its closer to home, more than you think.
I’ll use me as the example. My kid isn’t perfect (nor me just quietly) and when she acts up…I take a moment to look at what I am doing. Is she acting out her version of me? If not, I think about who is around her…other family members, friends, teachers or even the media.
If it is ME. And yes it sometimes is… I own up and take responsibility. Then I forgive myself for being human. Then we communicate. And its often this that resolves things. Communication. Who knew? lol
This is an ongoing journey for both of us and its never ending (never mind thankless). And thats ok. Thats life.
But I know that I aim to be the best role model mum that a kid can ask for.
So I keep owning my mistakes/flaws.
And move on.
What about you?
p.s www.secretstogettingshitdone.com online membership is LIVE! Woot! I am taking only 10 people at $29 per month – no contracts. So if you want a spot. Sign up!! I’ll post a video later on FB to show you whats on it. SH*TLOADS of stuff!! Yah!!